A practical guide for couples whose relationship has become tepid.
Here is realistic advice for busy couples that long for the intimacy and sexual pleasures they once knew but now can't find time for. Kate Taylor prescribes novelty and spontaneity and gives realistic solutions to the many challenges couples face. She explains the different needs of each partner and suggests how they can work together to the benefit of both.
More than 50 evocative color photographs of a real-life couple and dozens of artworks illustrate each technique. Quizzes and other interactive elements engage readers. Other information Taylor features includes:
Domestic Sex Goddess is a gentle, sometimes humorous but always very useful guide to reigniting passion in a long-term relationship.
Kate Taylor is a sex expert who wrote the "Sex Life" column for GQ from 1998 to 2002, when it was voted Best Page in GQ every year by readers. She is the author of four other books and is a regular contributor to radio and TV programs.
Having it all and having it off
Don't you just hate sex books? They sit there on the shelves in their pinky-purple packaging, smugly promising your relationship will be bed breakingly passionate and fake-strokingly intimate if you'd just light a ylang-ylang candle, shove your kids away for the weekend, and learn to do something complicated and vaguely Eastern-sounding with a banana, a rubber sheet, and a length of inner tube.
You get enthused with the idea, and happily show the book to your partner. He gets enthused, too, and lies back waiting for you to fill his body with ecstasy. Afterward, he drifts off to sleep while you strip the banana-splatted sheets off the bed, pick up the kids from your parents' house, and book an appointment to get the inner tube surgically removed. Worst of all, none of the promised intimacy has appeared. Instead, you've just set yourself another chore on your never-ending to-do list: "Be incredible in bed every night."
To my shame, I have written three of those kinds of sex books in the past. In my time as sex columnist, I've invented a million different ways to do the deed. When I was a single sex writer, I couldn't understand why women would ever try to get out of having sex if it were available to them. I thought sex would be amazing if only we could concentrate on being more inventive and spontaneous, and use a few props.
And then I got married.
And then I had two kids.
Now I find the only way that most sex books could improve my nighttime pleasure is by barricading my five-year-old into his own room so he doesn't come into our bed every night. The bananas? Fed to my toddler. The rubber sheet? On my oldest son's bed. The inner tube? Used to repair the wading pool. Sex books never make more than a passing reference to the problems faced by long-term couples, yet it's these couples who most need advice. New lovers have the advantage in bed, as a lot of sex's enjoyment comes from novelty and spontaneity. But when you've been together so long that you know every inch of your partner's body and all five of his Best Bedroom Moves, how can you get back that loving feeling or sense of blissful discovery? When you have to get up at 6 o'clock every morning to get the kids off to school, how can you face beginning a sexual technique that you know will take two hours to complete and use up all your tissues? And how can you look at baby oil as anything erotic, when you've actually started using it on your baby?
This is where this book comes in. It's a sex book for couples in long-term relationships, with or without children. It's for couples who adore each other, but have understandably felt the bloom go off their bedroom. It's for couples who would like new ideas to take to bed that bring back the initial excitement but don't require days of planning or other people, and who want real-life sex tips they can fit in around a busy day and eight hours of sleep at night.
It will help both of you, but I'm mainly writing for women, because it's women who can suffer more under the weight of a sex-free relationship, or one that's lacking in intimacy. When we have sex, we release a powerful hormone called oxytocin that can bond us to our partner. It's the same hormone we release when we have a baby. In long-term, settled love affairs, we need this oxytocin, and lots of it, to keep us attached to our mate.
Are you awash with it? Are you happily bonded to -- and getting it on with -- your man, or so unattached you're in danger of falling apart from him? To find out, take my quiz.
Are you a Domestic Sex Goddess
1 Have you ever faked a headache?
2 Do you feel on top of things both at home and in your relationship?
3 How do you feel when you meet your man at the end of the day?
4 How often do the pair of you have sex?
5 Does he buy you romantic presents?
Scores on the bedroom doors
Mostly A: Sex Goddess
Mostly B: Cherished Goddess
Mostly C: God Help You
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